From the Atlantic to the Pacific
This is the story of how my blank canvas surrendered to Christ became full of color. This is the story of my one year anniversary in California.
The story of moving 36 hours away from the Atlantic to the Pacific, to a town I’d never stepped foot in before. To a place where I had no job, no community… no plans and no clear picture of the path before me. This is the story of being scared yet expectant, fully aware of how crazy all of this was- how none of it made sense. But the best stories with Jesus never do at first, do they?
Within the last year I’ve learned firsthand that faith cracks open dimensions logic can’t touch.
I’ve learned that it’s my tendency to often wait for the sea to split before I move….. but thats not how miracles work. So, with this cross country wild & wonderful adventure, I chose to step forward towards the sea in faith, even as my voice and legs were shaking. And when I did, it then parted.
I’ve always desired a life filled with art and adventure… fueled by creativity and curiosity… but I didn’t know what that meant logistically postgrad in terms of choosing a place to live, and finding work. In the Lord’s kindness, I felt Him tugging at my heart and inviting me to see what He had for me across the country. I didn’t know why He wanted me to move to California, as my idyllic Soflo hometown begged me to stay; but as pieces began to divinely fall into place I felt deep peace over it all. And I knew it was time to begin a new chapter thousands of miles away.
For how long? I didn’t know. To do what? I also didn’t know. I just knew that it was time to surrender my desires and doubts to Him and trust that He’d reveal the right pieces in His timing and take care of me tenderly.
My “new life “ didn’t begin with ease though- I remember sitting on my living room floor in tears the week after I’d moved, and the shiny newness of Socal had begun to fade- in an instant, it all hit me - the full weight of what I had just done. I was overwhelmed with loneliness, and in my discomfort, I worried that I’d made the wrong choice. My comfort had to shift from my circumstances and feelings, to being fully in Jesus.
My first few months were filled with moments of stress and sadness but also some of the most exciting and rewarding experiences as well. I watched as God placed beautiful community in my lap that made this place come alive. I had friendships with people who deeply loved Jesus out here & who refined me and challenged my ways of thinking. My relationships all began to interconnect themselves and it was clear Jesus orchestrated it all.
The same care of Christ has been evident in my work as well: I spent months applying to every creative job I could find before I moved, and had no luck. So, I drove out to California with a small amount of savings and prayed I’d be able to find work and simply glorify Jesus in whatever I did. A few days after I arrived, I got a job waitressing & was abundantly grateful to be able to provide for myself. I had to (and still have to) lay down my ego and all the prideful pushbacks of what “I deserve”, and temptation to compare myself to others or what I thought work would look like. But I continue to come back to the blessing it is for my work to require deep dependence on Christ and how it is an opportunity to serve and love others through His strength alone. Because let me tell you, it is NOT possible through my own strength in any way.
This year, God has been redefining my understanding of “good plans” and “big things,” as His definitions are wildly different from mine. My definitions stem from my temptation to fixate on building my own castle. On sounding impressive to myself and others. But God wants to Use me, as He does all of us, for the greater purposes of His Kingdom.
While many elements of my life out here, may not be what I’d have designed, I do see the Lord’s hand and intentionality in every piece. While I work at a restaurant, I am able to have the freedom in my schedule to pursue other creative projects - hello wedding videography!! And hello hotel/ brand work!! I’ve also had the freedom to explore my beautiful new state- hello alllll of the clips in this video!!! Trips to Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Catalina, Mammoth, Big Sur, San Fran, Big Bear, San Luis Obispo, Arrowhead, LA, San Diego, etc.
It can be easy to get lost in the “I wish I had ….” mentality, but praise God for His perfect knowledge of what I need right now better than I truly do. I can walk forward in confidence that He is actively preparing me and developing me for what is to come.
Now, on the other side of one year in this place, I can say THANK YOU JESUS for being my lifeline. Thank you for the freedom to choose faith over and over again, especially when it doesn’t make sense, and to taste Your promise of new fruit.
Thank you for gifting me unique experiences. Thank you for the friends I’ve made. Thank you for my house I live in!! Thank you for the natural beauty my eyes have seen. Thank you for the physical challenges I’ve conquered (first half marathon woo)! Thank you for the new ways I’ve stretched my creativity in filming life’s most special moments. Thank you for growing me and investing in me.
And thank you for making a town thousands of miles away become HOME.
As I enter year two in Southern California, I am actively pondering and praying through how I can bring my gifts to the Lord and allow Him to use me. Yes, Jesus is the one who makes the impossible possible; He feeds the 5 thousand, but I must remember He wants us to first bring Him the 5 loaves and 2 fish. How blessed are we that our Creator delights in our active participation?
Use me Lord. Paint even more new colors on my canvas. Show me your glory one brush stroke at a time.
Scriptures that have been a deep encouragement to me:
Psalm 5:3 “In the morning Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly”
Deuteronomy 2:7 “The Lord your God has blessed you in the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness”
Ecclesiastes 3:11 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”
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